Archive for February, 2011

Stop And Think: Concerts

This is a new segment I would like to introduce, called “Stop and Think.” It’s about things we don’t often think about, that we should think about because we do a lot of weird things that have become commonplace. This first installment is live concerts.

I told you Kid Rock would play All Summer Long! It's a Classic!

Before I begin let me say that I love going to concerts, it’s one of my favorite things to do. It really doesn’t matter who’s playing, I’ll go see it. Case in point, I’ve seen Hanson live. I’m not even ashamed of that, I actually enjoyed the concert, but it made me realize – concerts are creepy and weird.

When you stop and think about it (See how that works) all a concert is, is a band practice. That’s it. It’s them practicing so they sound good when they record their music. For some reason we pay large sums of money to stand around with random smelly strangers, nodding our heads along to songs we just listened to in the car for free. If you’re lucky you may get involved in a form of controlled fighting called moshing, that’s about it though.

Yet we still scream our heads off when they play like maniacs. Next concert you’re at, look around after the band plays a great song (this probably won’t happen at a Guster show because they suck) and watch everyone. They’ll be jumping around and emitting noises like capuchin monkeys. It really makes you worry about the future, because some of these people will eventually or currently teachers, doctors, lawyers etc. So why do we do it?

I don’t have an official reason for why we do it, but I’m assuming it has to do with the fact that it’s something we can hold over our friends head. Because that’s an American pastime, making your friends feel like crap because you do cooler stuff than them. “You like moe. dude I’ve seen them like 5 times, you need to see them live”  I’m sure you’ve heard that, the jam band scene is full of that, which is weird, because jam bands are terrible in concert, I personally love all of the Grateful Dead’s studio albums. 5 hour concerts and you hear like 3 songs in total and they’re unrecognizable from the cd version. That’s why they do so many drugs.

What did the Phish fan say to the other when he ran out of drugs? "This band sucks"

There is no reason for us to pay more money to watch them practice than it does to listen to them. But we do and that’s funny to me. I love concerts and I realize how stupid they are, but I can’t stop going.

P.S. Here are few random thoughts on concerts and music in general:

1.) Bruce Springsteen concerts are different. They kick ass and there’s nothing wrong with going to see him live

2.) If there is a drunk annoying guy at a concert or a couple who uses the concert as an excuse to literally suck on each others faces, Murphy’s Law says they will stand right next to you. If not, you are that person and you should be ashamed.

3.) What’s up with musicians that are married or in relationships that have songs about like 6 different girls. How does that work. Ray Lamontagne has like 50 of them and I’m pretty sure he’s married. They’re all good though, which makes me think, he doesn’t mean any of this crap he’s saying yet people are still eating it up, or he’s just really trying to piss off his wife. He’s cool because he can do that.

He's got a face for radio

So next time you go to a concert, stop and think about what you’re actually doing, watching a bunch of dudes dressed strangely, practices songs they wrote to impress girls. You will probably laugh at yourself. I know I already am. Suckers.


This post is in honor of Ronnie James Dio. Long Live Rock n Roll.


If You Can Read this the Tweet Fell Off

Twitter humor is for the birds

Ah Twitter. Apparently it’s changing the world. The 140-character burst of information. It’s a wild card, nobody knows what that crazy bird and whale are going to do next. A lot of people are doing it and most of them don’t understand it, and it scares the crap out of most old people.

That boggles my mind. Not because they don’t get it, but because they talk about it like it’s some sort of space-age technology, but when you really think about it, the “tweet” is not an original concept at all.

A tweet by my definition is a short informative statement or question shown to a bunch of people who don’t give a crap what you think.

Does that sound familiar? It should, because you’ve been seeing “tweets” probably every day on your way to and from work. They’re called bumper stickers. Bumper Stickers are the original tweet.

I can’t tell you how relieving it was to figure this out, but when you really think about it, it makes sense. Short statements or questions posted for the world to see whether we want to or not. It’s just they were stuck to your car instead of your computer screen.

Don’t get me wrong, I love twitter (@nickthejiorle) Follow Me. But I don’t believe it’s improved upon the original. I can’t remember a single Tweet I’ve read in the past week, BUT I will never forget the first time I saw this piece of gold:

Try tweeting that

I’m sure you all have favorites, and I have plenty of others but you get the point. Bumper stickers stick with us, while a tweet is forgotten almost as soon as it’s sent to the old Internet. It just doesn’t have the power, but it may soon. Only time will tell.

Read more…

In the Beginning…

There was just me and all the things that seem to float through my head each day, when I should’ve been doing something productive. My problem is I can’t help but focus on thoughts or ideas that have no actual reason to exist. Random thoughts or daydreams, they’re often called.

Anyone who’s met me can attest to my penchant for obscure facts and points of view. This is my remedy. To write them down and get them out of my head. I understand that blogging is self-centered and egotistical (which is why it’s called Humor Me) It’s very fun for people who enjoy writing. Also understand that I write for a living, which will surprise some of you to know since there will be so many grammatical errors and slang.



The reason is I’m writing like I think and while I’m no scientist, i don’t believe anyone thinks in perfect english (so back off.) So if you can glean any insight into my psyche from this page, good. If not, I’m sorry for having wasted your time, you cannot have it back. And if anyone ever finds that they agree or even understand some of the writings here please let me know. It will be comforting to know I haven’t gone completely off the deep end.


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