“You don’t  buy beer, you just rent it”

I love this quote because it’s so true  We go to a bar and spend anywhere from $20 to hundreds of dollars on any given night at a bar to stand (Or kneel over a toilet) the rest of the night. This is a socially acceptable recreation known as drinking.

It’s fun, it’s easy and it’s damaging to our health, which is probably why we as Americans like it so much.

But let’s stop and think about it for a second. Actively seeking out a poorly lit establishment with constantly wet floors and strangers yelling at the top of their lungs to be heard is what we’re in for.  And that’s considered a good bar.

Where does the fun end and the line for the bathroom begin?

We actually pay for this atmosphere. A six pack of Miller Lite at a store is usually about $6 give or take, but we’ll pay $5 for one at a bar. Think about that for a second.  You would never buy one banana for the price of a whole bunch just to eat it in front of strangers and tip someone a dollar just for peeling it for you.

Let’s get this party started

Here’s another thing I’m guilty of, and I’m sure some of you are as well. As 20somethings, we have limited disposable income and this means we have to make tough decisions in order to continue our lavish lifestyle.

I’d often hear friends talking about how they’re broke and can’t afford to have cable TV or use the heat in their apartment. But I can swear I saw this person at the bar buying shots last Friday night. What this says to me is that we’ll forego creature comforts and basic necessities for months at a time to get drunk once, maybe twice in that same month.

So to recap, hanging out in a dark, dingy room, elbow to asshole with a bunch of unnecessarily sweaty individuals in lieu of catching the exciting new season of Breaking Bad or heating your apartment. Why?

Because standing around in a circle talking with your friends is still as fun as ever and we endure these inconveniences to do so. Plus, no one wants to stand around pretending to text people in well-ventilated, bright establishments.

But all we want to do, even as we get older is hang out and do stupid stuff with our friends, and because as we become adults, there are legal ramifications to acting a fool in public, our shenanigans are forced inside of bars.

Adults in public at 1st glance, but it could just be he touched the floor when it was lava.

Here, we can act like well-manicured children, laughing, dancing like a fool, rough-housing, singing along to terrible songs and occasionally sob uncontrollably (You all have that friend). And then it’s over. We pass out, wake up and it’s back to reality. We don’t go to bars to drink to forget–we go to recapture childhoods spent with good friends doing whatever you wanted, and who doesn’t feel like a child again when the terrifying sensation of peeing your pants hits.

So just remember the next time you’re taking care of a friend who had a little too much fun that night,  that they’re steering the porcelain bus for YOU, so you could, for a fleeting moment, take a trip down memory lane, and more importantly, remind you how you’re not ready to have  kids just yet.

CHEERS!

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