Women are crazy and men are stupid. The reason women are so crazy? Because men are so stupid.

The misunderstanding between sexes is almost as frustrating as stock photography.

The misunderstanding between sexes is almost as frustrating as stock photography

This brilliant aphorism explains why men and women see each other as different species, without placing the blame on either sex.

But Nick, you just declared man’s stupidity the cause of female craziness.

WRONG!

It’s a mere lack of understanding of the beauty of man’s stupidity that causes this.

Also a common misunderstanding

Also a common misunderstanding

I cannot begin to explain the female mind, as I do not know how it works. I will try to explain the essence of man’s stupidity to shed a little light on it for society’s sake.

Man’s stupidity is a natural and beautiful thing. It comes from the desire for simplicity in everything, and the absence of complication at every turn. Where women live life with emotions and logic, men get by with survival instincts.

I believe women become frustrated because they don’t understand the joy simple living brings to a man. We need very little. For instance, when going on vacation for a week, all a man needs is a backpack. It’s not to incense you or make you feel bad for requiring a flatbed to haul your luggage to the airport, it’s because men boil it down to the simplest of needs: deodorant, a toothbrush, and one change of clothing. And half of that stuff probably won’t be used.

Probably just the shoes and make-up too

Probably just the shoes and make-up too

Men don’t need fancy dining ware when they can eat over a sink with a garbage disposal.

To a guy, a pair of jeans is a pair of jeans, so why not wear them every day? Why have two pairs that look nearly the same?

Fingers are God’s comb.

Show 'em R. Patz

Show ’em R. Patz

This irritates women because they look for meaning. There’s a meaning or a reason for everything a woman does. That’s a frightening thought that confuses men on a daily basis. But ladies, try to understand, guys do things because it pops into their head or because it’s necessary to their survival. That’s it. If you look for meaning where there is none, or try to find one, you will go…

Crazier.

My advice, take whatever a guy says at face value because he’s either

A.)  Telling the truth

Or

B.)  Trying to impress you

The answer is B about 97% of the time, so stop giving us credit for being conniving or ingenious, that’s your expertise.

Men don’t work that way, if we don’t like someone we tell them or fight them, even if they’re our friends. What comes out of our mouths, for better or worse is exactly what we’re thinking.

Q: How do I look? A: You look good – Direct translation: You look good

Q: How do I look?
A: You look good – Direct translation: You look good

Of course, men in relationships exhibit less stupidity than single men. I call it “Domesticated Stupidity,” because they’re called on the carpet for their simple ways. They’re forced to do superfluous things like have tissues at their house or more than one spoon in the drawer. Those are sacrifices these men make to their uncomplicated way of living to have a healthy relationship.

You probably can’t believe that I once again know what you’re thinking, but yes, you’re thinking, why wouldn’t a man try to make himself more presentable for a women? The answer is simple – women seem to like a project. They see potential in that grungy, yet ruggedly handsome fellow. Men, only see what’s directly in front of them.

And I mean directly in front of...

And I mean directly in front of…

So now you know what all the fussing and fighting’s about ladies and gents. Hopefully we can bridge the cultural divide. I can’t guarantee men will ever get less stupid, but maybe after reading this, we won’t drive you all so bat shit crazy.

To infinity… but let’s hit that rest stop first!

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