There’s a good chance you’re reading this because you wish you were asleep, or at the very least, sleepy. That short break from consciousness that helps us replenish our life force and prepare for another day of noise, routines, and Netflix marathons. But the “Good night’s Sleep” is an elusive thing these days.

This is exactly what no one looks like when they're sleeping

This is exactly what no one looks like when they’re sleeping

Sleeping is one of the only things I can think of that is involuntary and that so many people are bad at. It’s something the body requires, but at the same time refuses to make easy. It should be simple. Lay down in bed in “jammies” and close eyes. That’s all it should take. I’d like a show of hands of everyone that falls asleep that easily:

That’s what I thought

That’s what I thought

Our body and mind find all kinds of ways to subvert our ability to fall asleep, the very necessary act that keeps it functioning in the first place. It’s like a torture from the fields of Tartarus.

So we fight with ourselves every night and the harder you try to fall asleep, the harder it is to fall asleep. I’m not saying anything you haven’t thought, red-eyed, gaze fixed firmly on your ceiling at 4am, I’m just trying to show you how crazy the whole thing is.

Maybe counting the hours until I have to get up again will help

Maybe counting the hours until I have to get up again will help

Imagine having a hamburger, or veggie burger, in front of you. Your body says, I need this sustenance to continue working, your mind agrees. Then, you pick up the hamburger and put it to your lips… and nothing happens. You repeat this process for hours until eventually, all of a sudden the hamburger is gone and you don’t remember even tasting it.

This example could also be your next nightmare

This example could also be your next nightmare

That’s how insane this whole sleeping thing is. Soooooo what do we do? We come up with ways of tricking ourselves into falling asleep. Some people count sheep (It sounds crazy if you strip it of context), some people drink wine (That’s a slippery slope), and some watch TV. We’ve even devoted a large amount of time and resources to creating synthetic drugs to make our body engage in a natural practice.

Some people cope by taking pride in how little sleep they get. You know these people.

Also known as the 5 Hour Energy crowd

Also known as the 5 Hour Energy crowd

Everyone has their own method of falling asleep. Personally, I have to lie on top of my covers for a few minutes. Then I lay in three different positions in the same order before I feel comfortable enough to “begin” falling asleep. It’s as silly and wacky as it sounds, but years of successful sleeps have proven its worth.

Also this

Also this

The meaning of sleep may be more elusive than that of life. My best supposition is that as the saying goes, “We’re all kids at heart.” Kids hate eating vegetables, washing their hands, wearing pants, and above all, falling asleep. When we grow up, we learn the value of a good night’s sleep, but when you’re all alone with just your thoughts, the kid in you comes alive and refuses to go to sleep. That’s why we have to trick ourselves into falling asleep. After all, the best way to teach a kid anything is to trick them, and that goes for the kid deep down in your gooey, sleep-deprived center. Don’t let those sweet dreams wake you from your hard earned slumber.

Advertisements