Archive for May, 2014

What’s In a Name

I’m worried, people. There’s an alarming trend that’s cut its way into our societal fabric. The trend in question is poor naming of just about everything around us: fads, animals, babies, apps, you name it, and it probably has a sucky name. I’m actually an expert on this subject because part of my job used to be coming up with terrible names for terrible casino promotions.

The problem is when you invent or discover something you get to name it. A fine rule in principle, and in execution when the people inventing and discovering stuff were mostly scientists. They used descriptive features and terms rooted in Latin to name things. This gave us glorious names like “Tyrannosaurus Rex” and “Fibromyalgia.” Somewhere along the line we went from that to things like “Twerking” and “Polar Vortex.” I know you think the latter is fine because it sounds sciencey. You have to realize it was coined to drum up business for the Weather Channel and it basically means “Cold Hole.” Read more…

Outta Line

I love anything that has an unwritten set of rules. Laws that everyone is taught or come to understand through experience. We have events that require this code throughout many facets of life, but the one that always gets me is the unwritten rules of the line.

 

Waiting in line is often a tortuous experience, and most places you go, or want to go to, have a line. The movies, the amusement park, the bank, the line museum, etc. The ubiquitous nature of lines required us to develop a set of laws that was universally understood, and abided by. All’s well right?

Wrong. It seems there are rebels out there hell-bent on breaking down society through acts of anarchy through line violations. I guarantee these are the same rebels who put ice cubes in their milk. I can only hope there’s a level in hell reserved for those who cavalierly violate these unalienable tenets of the line.

Line to heaven cartoon Read more…

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