With fall and the changing of the leaves comes a season of hope and renewal. New TV shows about vampires that solve mysteries, and werewolves get into a Glee Club pop up on major networks and cable channels alike to draw you in. Television has begun to give the movie industry a run for its money with quality programming that helps establish a deeper emotional connection with audiences.


It’s great, I love getting emotionally invested in a show and experiencing the ups and downs the characters go through. There is one thing I’ve learned to do and that is not wish my life was more like that of my favorite TV shows. I know people daydream about that, which is why I’m here to tell you that it’s a bad idea.

There’s no shame in it, but it’s important to remember that beyond the importance we put on these characters lives, they’re usually pretty crappy existences. That’s the reason we tune in after all. I hear girls talk about Sex and the City like it’s this perfect dream world. I’m a Miranda, or I’m the girl that looks like Katie Holmes but not actually her, or inevitably, Samantha. Yes, she’s a writer in New York City, oh how fun that would be. She also goes through a haram of rude, deceitful men who continually mistreat her well into her early 40s and never experiences the miracle of true love. Hear that? That’s the truth train coming down the track.

Why must he toy with her emotions!!!!

Why must he toy with her emotions!!!!

It’s not just the ladies though. Men love to watch shows where a bunch of dudes hang out and get into shenanigans like Always Sunny, The League, or even Friends. It seems like good fun. Who wouldn’t want to live a life where they shirk responsibility far into adulthood to have roommates when they’re in their late 30s? Maybe you go on dates with two different girls in the same night? TV makes us think that leads to hijinks, maybe some cross-dressing, and a valuable life lesson in the end. In reality, you’re probably getting your car keyed—minimum.

Won't see that in the new Girl Meets World

Won’t see that in the new Girl Meets World

Imagine if it was like TV and things were going so great for you and everyone you associated with in high school, that you then had to go to college with all those kids like in Saved By The Bell. Or if you were Carlton, who was clearly on track to go to Princeton, but somehow ended up going to the same college that accepted the Fresh Prince, and wound up becoming the school mascot. Not so sweet when you’ve got to make concessions on account of chemistry, is it?

Supreme Court Justice? Maybe Supreme Foodcourt Juicer

In this hilarious episode, you get to see Carlton go dead inside

Worst of all are police dramas. I have a particular affinity for the best cop show ever, Nash Bridges, but even as a wee lad I knew as much as I respected Nash, I didn’t want the responsibility of having to solve double homicides, break up drug rings, and repair bullet holes on a vintage ’72 Barracuda each week on a detective’s salary. That would wear me out real quick.



So enjoy the life you have. It’s better to have the struggles of the real world than the weekly episodic struggles that pull in ratings because the people portrayed have a crappy life with a surprising twist. Besides, my life is enough like The Office as it is, and I don’t want to learn any valuable life lessons from some perfect parents. The only exception is if one of those parents was the one and only: