I’m worried, people. There’s an alarming trend that’s cut its way into our societal fabric. The trend in question is poor naming of just about everything around us: fads, animals, babies, apps, you name it, and it probably has a sucky name. I’m actually an expert on this subject because part of my job used to be coming up with terrible names for terrible casino promotions.

The problem is when you invent or discover something you get to name it. A fine rule in principle, and in execution when the people inventing and discovering stuff were mostly scientists. They used descriptive features and terms rooted in Latin to name things. This gave us glorious names like “Tyrannosaurus Rex” and “Fibromyalgia.” Somewhere along the line we went from that to things like “Twerking” and “Polar Vortex.” I know you think the latter is fine because it sounds sciencey. You have to realize it was coined to drum up business for the Weather Channel and it basically means “Cold Hole.” Read more…